|Posted on November 6, 2016 at 1:10 AM|
While the interpretation of Bruce Wayne's Batman persona created the identity for my hero complex, or overt desire to actively help people, the true source of inspiration actually comes from a Biblical source. First, I want to put everyone's concerns to ease so that as many of you continue to keep an open mind despite the inclusion of potentially contentious topics.
In short, my world view on religion versus faith comes from growing up and exploring my religious background but ending up embracing a much broader faith overall. That doesn't mean I am not a Protestant Christian, just as it does not mean I necessarily identify myself with a specific religion. A collective Christian pantheism forms the basis of my spiritual beliefs, no doubt. But through my own journey of faith I have taken quite strongly to the acceptance of all "peaceful" religious beliefs that many of you identify with abroad.
So, any time I explore or discuss religion I personally wanted to show respect for the many non-violent peace-loving religious people who may read my blog posts but feel apprehensive that I may intend to disagree with your beliefs. I will not, as long as they are generally peaceful and considerate. Muslims, Buddhists, Christians, Atheists, Agnostics, Hindus, and so forth. As my Dad often told me while growing up, to never throw stones into someone else's path, I especially want to exercise that here. Not to manipulate for the benefit of keeping people interested; just simple, genuine respect. Hard to come by these days, it seems.
The exploration of my religious background began after the first passing of a close relative in my life. During early 1997 my maternal Grandfather took to rest, after which I asked my parents for a Bible and a cross. Later that same year I was in 10th grade at the Senior High school, and a dear Italian upperclassman also gave me a green covered copy of the Gideon New Testament. So, I focused first on the New Testament in what I read the years after. Most notably in the King James version of the Bible my Mom had given me, which was given to her by my paternal Grandfather at her wedding, to my surprise I found a passage that seemed to be written for me specifically.
"James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes which are scattered abroad, greeting."
At the time I was in the midst of my fear-invoked depression symptoms, but just like the character of Bruce Wayne this passage stuck with me ever since I first read it. Of course there is more to the Epistle of James as is to the Bible itself. Faith is a discovery each and every person should undertake on their own. A journey of the heart and soul.
As time progressed, all sorts of fundamental beliefs were called into question particularly during the sleepless night of my attempted weak overdose in 2003. The Christian origins of my religious beliefs had transcended as a result because at that point I had tried to kill myself. In some corners, that sin is unforgiveable. Yet the James 1:1 passage, among others, never lost their significance in my heart from then on. I just could not yet figure out if or how it fit in with my tumultuous existence.
To merely blurt out, Oh I think that passage is implying that I act or I am prophetic and then claim I am a Servant of God, is just plain ridiculous for me to say of myself in my humble opinion. I am no saint. As I do frequently repent my sins for forgiveness. So, in the present time how would I apply my longtime connection to the James 1:1 passage with my hero complex inspired by Bruce Wayne's Batman? I'll tell you.
No one can ever truly know this much of themselves, of their inner spirit, without strong faith-driven practice and devotion. For me, right now, these pieces feel like a stronger connection than anything I have felt in years. What I took away from this passage was that perhaps I was meant to serve, or now guard, people in this life. As far as the here and now are concerned, this is my mantra:
"I am a guardian. Then a Guardian I shall be.
I will guard your Darkness, and guide your Light." (my words).
A guardian, indicating anyone can be as I am; empowered by the ability to help other people on a deep level. I am not the Prophet, nor am I a false idol. I am no one, yet I can be any one of you. Selflessness at its purest, which I have already been identifying with all through my volunteer work. In order to take ownership of the positive empowerment, I refer to myself as a Guardian because of the commitment I now intend to engage in. I was a guardian. Now, this is my persona of commitment that I shall be. Minus a mask, because I am just like all of you.
As Batman's was to strike fear into the hearts of those who prey on the fearful, the essential of my mantra is that I will guard your Darkness and guide your Light. Remember back to my blog post about Professor Xavier being able to help others because he can and that it is there? I can and have withstood the Darkness of my life, therefore I can guard it, absorb it, channel it, and will do so because the need from you is there.
Allow my words to reassure wayward souls that the end, giving up, is not the only option. I am still here because something continues to work, and I will not rest until I can share that to change lives for the better. Therefore I will guide your Light by the wisdom I offer, acknowledging that there is not only goodness and light in everyone's hearts but that people can find some sense of salvation without resorting to violence upon others or themselves.
And to think that this journey has only just begun...