Journeyman's Row
         Discovering tomorrow's future starts by discussing yesterday & today.
***  October 11, 2016  -  June 30, 2021  ***

Click here to edit subtitle


Downs and ups and downs

Posted on December 21, 2016 at 1:05 AM

So, with some suggestions and ideas given from my previous blog post about handling the ups and downs, then what about negative mood swings that are much bigger than the average bear? More intimidating? Your anxiety kicks in and you don't, or feel you can't, do much of anything to minimize or stop it. The point of confronting your mental health issues is first acknowledging you will not win in one day, or in one grand push. The next step is just doing the best you can, and to use the resources you have all around you to turn the tide against the illness.

In fact, I too have been unable to avoid my winter blues for the last several days. Keep in mind my style and intent is to tell it like it is, especially with my current experiences with mental health issues. Honesty is one of the best medicines for dealing with anxiety and depression. Get the nitty gritty out there and see what you can do about it. Compared to my birthday the month of December for me is for one, much longer than one day. One versus thirty two; the thirty second day being New Year's Day of next year when my chronophobia peaks. Then why am I faltering when I seem to be giving all of this homespun wisdom and advice?

I still have a lot to learn about mental health, especially my own. What may work in one situation might not be as effective the next time, or the next day, or several days in a row. Anxiety can wear a person down to some degree, but it can be diminished. No indomitable snow monster of the North here, besides the fact that bumbles bounce if you get my snow drift. You are probably wondering what I am experiencing as I write this, despite my determination to outlast my anxiety. To be honest, most are symptoms of depression simply enhanced by the winter blues.

Restlessness, where I feel somewhat like doing a certain activity, only to change my mind and end up back where I started trying to decide what to do next. In my case this week, I started watching the DVD of Exodus but stopped just a couple minutes into it in favor of trying something else. A lack of desire to do certain things I either want to do, have decided I would like to do, or normally would want to engage in has been frequent this week as well. This particularly is a classic hallmark symptom of depression, I might add. I like to watch movies, programs on history, mystery and suspense, science fiction, true crime, action and adventure, but I hesitate so long that I cannot decide whether I actually want to watch something. I know how some people could, maybe not would, but could see that description as lame or confused. Just watch the movie or program, which is where some social stigma comes from.

Even if it is cold outside, I am often holed up in this room so I would occasionally open the single window just to smell the fresh air. This is especially wonderful during the warmer months because the fresh air aroma is stronger. Why not just go out and do something rather than remaining cooped up? For me, I could go to the proverbial mall but I don't find that neither a good reason to waste the gas to get there nor preferable for all of the random people there. Like I said, flawed. I do what I can with the way things are in my life, instead of forcing the recovery from mental illness. I often remind myself for an emotional and self-esteem boost just how much better I am handling depression and anxiety compared to my first bout between 1994 and 2006.

Some matters of the mind and psychology take time to understand and time to heal from. What can make matters worse is how social stigmas can deter a person from getting or seeking proper treatment, or even from telling friends and family close to them that they may have a problem. I am a living example of how social stigma has prolonged my mental illness symptoms for so long, twenty two years and counting, that my depression and anxiety have become irreparably twisted together and difficult to overcome. My generalized anxiety disorder, or as I have described being both my career indecision and career anxiety, has been unphased for each and every year of those twenty two years. Only now, at the middle age of thirty five, have I been able to scratch the surface.

Now that I have begun to fight back against the GAD, I hope I have the strength left to push back and sooner than later defeat it once and for all. If it were not for my ability - and effort - to absorb inspirational energy to keep myself positive, the caring friends and family who support me, I would be in a much more difficult situation. After having attended two National Alliance on Mental Illness meetings this and last month, I will soon be registered as a member. During this past month, I have become aware of a certain well known actress' outspoken ambitious efforts to effect change on the mental health front. So I would like to take tomorrow's blog post to highlight her work and show my gratitude for taking the plunge against mental illness.

A blossom of spring, comes to mind.

Categories: Mental Health & Awareness

Post a Comment


Oops, you forgot something.


The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

Already a member? Sign In